Showing posts with label News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label News. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Zombie Outreach Donations Sought

FOR IMMEDIANT RELEASE

through January 1, 2018

 

Zombie Outreach Organization (ZOO)

2017 End of Year Contribution Drive


 
Cedar Park, Texas - The provincial organization of ZOO has opened their end-of-year online donation booth to further prepare to reach out and help dissuade future zombies from eating human brains.

Funds will go into training volunteers who will be dispatched at the beginning of the zombie apocalypse armed with informational pamphlets informing the hungry dead that human brains really contain no nutritious value.

“The undead need to understand that for every one-hundred grams of brain, seventy-eight of those grams are water,” said founder Lavar Harris. “Only eleven grams are in fact protein. You have to eat a lot of brains before they become beneficial.”

The grass-roots organization bases their efforts on the idea that education and redirection can help the surviving humans the opportunity to coexist with their dead counterparts.

“Done correctly,” Harris continues, “we could bring our departed friends into the productivity fold which is making America Great Again. Most can provide free menial labor which can increase productivity and the overall gross national product of our country.”

Long term plans include guiding the dearly departed so they may participate in the industries of entertainment, transportation, and some low-level blue-collar trades.

“Imagine watching wonders such as Z-Factor, Dancing with the Czars, Naked and Not Afraid,” he continued.

“But we must start with the basics,” he lamented. “The only way this bright future we are planning can happen is if we first change their aplite from human brains to a more supple food source. Done right this could help reduce rodent and other pest populations.”

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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

BofA Corporate Headquarters

In case you are wondering (not likely, but just in case) in 1997 Bank of America moved it corporate headquarters from San Francisco to Charlotte NC not for financial reasons, but for the political pressures being placed on it by the City of San Francisco.

Charlotte should be very careful, it is one thing to loose an event it is another to loose businesses all together.

As an aside, here is what the City of San Francisco passed last week.

Source: http://sfbaytimes.com/san-franciscos-official-response-to-the-election-of-trump/



WHEREAS, On November 8, 2016, Donald Trump was elected to become the 45th President of the United States; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That no matter the threats made by President-elect Trump, San Francisco will remain a Sanctuary City. We will not turn our back on the men and women from other countries who help make this city great, and who represent over one third of our population. This is the Golden Gate—we build bridges, not walls; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we will never back down on women’s rights, whether in healthcare, the workplace, or any other area threatened by a man who treats women as obstacles to be demeaned or objects to be assaulted. And just as important, we will ensure our young girls grow up with role models who show them they can be or do anything; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That there will be no conversion therapy, no withdrawal of rights in San Francisco. We began hosting gay weddings twelve years ago, and we are not stopping now. And to all the LGBTQ people all over the country who feel scared, bullied, or alone: You matter. You are seen; you are loved; and San Francisco will never stop fighting for you; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we still believe in this nation’s founding principle of religious freedom. We do not ban people for their faith. And the only lists we keep are on invitations to come pray together; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That Black Lives Matter in San Francisco, even if they may not in the White House. And guided by President Obama’s Task Force on 21st Century Policing, we will continue reforming our police department and rebuilding trust between police and communities of color so all citizens feel safe in their neighborhoods; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That climate change is not a hoax, or a plot by the Chinese. In this city, surrounded by water on three sides, science matters. And we will continue our work on CleanPower, Zero Waste, and everything else we are doing to protect future generations; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we have been providing universal health care in this city for nearly a decade, and if the new administration follows through on its callous promise to revoke health insurance from 20 million people, San Franciscans will be protected; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we are the birthplace of the United Nations, a city made stronger by the thousands of international visitors we welcome every day. We will remain committed to internationalism and to our friends and allies around the world—whether the administration in Washington is or not; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That San Francisco will remain a Transit First city and will continue building Muni and BART systems we can all rely upon, whether this administration follows through on its platform to eliminate federal transit funding or not; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That California is the sixth largest economy in the world. The Bay Area is the innovation capital of the country. We will not be bullied by threats to revoke our federal funding, nor will we sacrifice our values or members of our community for your dollar; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we condemn all hate crimes and hate speech perpetrated in this election’s wake. That although the United States will soon have a President who has demonstrated a lack of respect for the values we hold in the highest regard in San Francisco, it cannot change who we are, and it will never change our values. We argue, we campaign, we debate vigorously within San Francisco, but on these points we are 100 percent united. We will fight discrimination and recklessness in all its forms. We are one City. And we will move forward together

Friday, September 2, 2016

Millions of Dead Bees

‘Like it’s been nuked’: Millions of bees dead after South Carolina sprays for Zika mosquitoes. http://tiny.iavian.net/c37i